Intifada Diaries
By Mona Zaaroura

Politics did not interest me before and news meant nothing to me. However, since the beginning of the intifada I became addicted to news. As soon as I wake up I ran to the TV and start to move among the channels to watch the news. At seven NBN news, at 7:30 Future TV news, at 8:00, Al Gazira news, then the TV gets fixed on either Al Manar channel or Palestine Channel...

I hear almost twenty news breaks everyday to make sure my friends in Dheisheh camp are fine. I wake up worried about them I ran to the news to listen to the martyrs name scared that I hear one of their names. After the news I ran to the internet to check if I got emails from them. I write to them everyday... I tell them that I love them we all love them and us all wish we could be with them and we think about them always... I tell them that I wish the intifada will go on till we return. We return and we live all together. I dream with them about return and I still imagine what we will do. We will kiss the land, take off the ugly settlements build houses from the soil of Palestine and live in it to feel that we are living in Palestine...

Before I go to sleep I remember when we went to the south where we met our Palestinian friends from Dheisheh. I ask myself will I ever live what the half of Mahmoud live when he touched the land of Palestine when he was collecting Palestinian soil… Mahmoud stretched his body under the wires to collect Palestinian soils and bring it back to Shatila. His first half was in Palestine the other half was in Lebanon. He told us that he felt that he felt something he could not describe with his half that touched the land of Palestine. And I ask myself is true return is coming soon as Miriam felt when she touched Palestine in the south...

I sleep and while sleeping I dream that we returned to Palestine. I run to my friends in Dheisheh, I hug Manar and show her the sand that she sent me from my village when she visited it for me. I tell her that I kept with me so that we together will plant an olive tree and we carve our names on its trunk. I look at Motasim who was always sure of return and tell him that here we are and your dream comes true. I kiss Shourouk who loves drawing and I ask her to draw our return together. I look at Fairuz that is a grown up now and tell her "you grew you naughty". And we all say together from Shatila and Dheisheh that we will never live in camps again and we will never be refugees again" I am now a free bird. I won’t need wings from now on I am back in Palestine. Usually my parents wake me up while dreaming I got so upset for they bring me back to Shatila... I come back to my reality but then I ran again to the TV to watch the news and see what is going there in Palestine to make sure my friends are all fine.